WASHINGTON DC  – Raging in a style befitting any third-grade schoolyard bully, Trump made it abundantly clear in a 3AM tweet that neither he nor any of his loyal subjects would deign to obey any US law.

At this time, it is unclear what prompted the outburst.

Some staff sources speculate that beyond the multitude of corruption investigations and congressional subpoenas, the president was experiencing an acute bone spur flareup.  Other insiders hypothesized his during the night agitation was prompted by his inability to find an open McDonald’s to satisfy his hash brown cravings.

The attorney general was summoned to the Oval Office to calm the exasperated leader of the free world.  After comforting Trump by assuring him that he was above the law, he handed him a dozen of still-warm, Krispy Kreme donuts which he picked-up while en route to the White House.

 Trump grabbed the box of deep-fried delights and, with his bathrobe flapping, gleefully headed back to his residence rambling “I’m not obeying any law” while chowing down his ooey-gooey glazed crullers.